Bar etiquette
Having been a bartender for the last 3 years while at uni I’ve served my fair share of people, but I never fail to be astounded by the following things:
People that order “a beer”… We have about 10 bottled options and 3 on draft and they’re all in front of you… So pick one!
People that order “rum and coke”. There are so many kinds of rum let alone brand! Give me an idea of what you want! Dark/golden/white/spiced etc!
People that ask for a shot of “anything”, because you’re just going to get whatever bottle is closest to hand, regardless of whether you like it or not! It’s your money, decide what you want!
Men that stare at me because I’m pretty much the only girl on the bar, look around you, there are plenty of drunk women for you to hit on, stop using your sleazy lines on me, I’m one of the few sober people in the room and DEFINITELY not going home with you!
People that say modj-heeee-toe. It’s a mojito, moron.
Finally… And potentially the most annoying of all above actions… When I’m stirring your mojito, it is not and will not ever be funny to make some form of reference to me giving you a hand job. I’m using a fucking spoon to mix lime, mint, sugar, rum and ice… Get over it.
Despite all of this I love my job, I don’t mind working nights and it can be fun! But the above are just utterly ridiculous and tiring! So next time you’re out , smashed out of your head, remember that the person serving you won’t find you or your jokes charming/funny/endearing and will not want your number/to know your name/go home with you. They are however more than happy to make you a drink and send you on your way.
